Monday, June 1, 2015

Disconnected Another View....

I went for a walk in the woods and I couldn't help myself from revisiting "Disconnected". Why was this word nagging me so? As I pondered on this, so many thoughts and memories raced through my head. Growing up, I wished so many times to be "disconnected". Disconnected from my father's drinking. Disconnected from my mother's verbal abuse. Disconnected from my family that I believed didn't understand my pain. After my rape, I wanted to be "disconnected" from the boys in my neighborhood. Then as I withdrew more and more, depression became my battle and I wanted to "disconnect" from my life on earth. I wanted to end it all. "Disconnect" permanently and yet I longed to be connected to someone or something else. I became connected to the woods. In the woods, I could see beauty and peace. I could see God. I could hear God. I could be with God. I could feel God. Everything seems different in the woods. I can "disconnect" from the evil that I had gone through and perceived in my world. I could connect to something more powerful and more infinite than I could ever imagine in my everyday life, and that is God. He is all around me in the woods. It is no wonder that I find myself returning and "disconnecting" just to be with Him. I know God is all around us, and others find Him in different ways, but when I need to be close to Him I know I need to "disconnect" and seek Him. Disconnect from myself, my worries, my anxiety, my world and connect to Him. Walking in His world through the woods, I am connected. I marvel at all the things that God created and the details He put into everything, from the snowflakes in the winter, to the bright buds of color bursting through with new growth in the spring, to the multitude of creatures that roam about in the summer, and the palette of colors that dot the horizon in the fall when the leaves change color. Everything changes and yet there is harmony which brings me peace. I love to "disconnect" in the woods, because it allows me to refocus and appreciate all that God does for me. I am truly blessed to be able to "disconnect".

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