Disconnected

"Disconnected I'm so far away...."-Veridia

March 22, 2015 

I went for a walk in the woods today, and the sun was warm and bright against my cheek. As I set out on the trail, I had to admire how things have changed since the winter months. No longer was it blanketed in pure white snow, nor was it brown and dreary as it was in the early spring. No, now the ground popped with the growth of new grass and a sprinkling of bits of color from the violets and marsh flowers. Spring has led way to new birth and I found myself soaking it all in as Fergus and I walked. The trees with their new leaves bristled in the light breeze. The sparrows, cardinals, blackbirds, finches and jays called out to each other in their symphony of songs, and not to be outdone the frogs joined in the chorus. It was easy to get lost in this world around me. There was great peace and harmony, but as I walked the word "Disconnected" popped into my head.

So I mulled that word over, thinking why "disconnected?" I wondered is that what I have been doing these last few weeks, disconnecting from the pain, the rejection, the hollowness in my heart? Or was there another reason for the word to flit through my mind. Because even though I have been struggling these last few weeks, I have not been hiding and I am still trying to stay connected to others, not burrowing myself into my "safe cocoon" of avoidance and self preservation. I have felt God's presence around me and actually was feeling "connected" so why was disconnected on my mind? Was is because I need to "disconnect," i.e. let go or was there more to it? So I just walked in the presence, relishing the world around me and cherishing this beautiful world. Fergus and I finished our walk, but "disconnected" kept nagging at me and then the song by Veridia danced through my head and the lyrics: "Disconnected, I'm so far away...." I thought to myself could that be the only reason this word "disconnected" was dancing through my head and then it dawned on me.

In a world with so much technology and ways to communicate, we are severely lacking in truly being connected to other humans. We are disconnected and so far away.

Case in point maybe you can relate or give your input. I have some friends that are all about their phones. It appears as if their phones are an extra appendage that is with them always. They are constantly checking them for messages or updates, even when they are sitting in the company of real people. To me this is rude and annoying, and I have mentioned this to some of my friends when it appears they are more interested in their phones than the conversation or time that we are spending together. Maybe this is rude on my part to point out this behavior,  but to me I believe when you are sitting and talking with someone they should know by my actions that they are worth my undivided attention. I don't want them to feel second fiddle to a phone because the people in my life are important. Not to say I'm not important to my friends, but sometimes I believe that the time I spend with my friends should not be "disconnected" or full of distractions. But then there is the other side of the coin. What is proper etiquette when it comes to returning a message or phone call? Because I tend to get annoyed, when I leave a message or send a text and it takes days to get  a response, or maybe I get no response at all. It probably wouldn't be so annoying if I hadn't witnessed how connected they may be to their phone any other time. So then I start to think, maybe I am not that important or deserving of a response. Sometimes when I have questioned the friends about the lack of response, I've received answers such as: "I've taken a break from technology. Or, I'm horrible about returning phone calls or messages. Or I never received the message, do you want to check my phone?" So the hard thing is to let it go and not let it control how I react. So maybe that is why I've pondered "disconnected" today.